Thinking of You blogger – Mel Robbins Talk Jason Wilson Why Men Are Quietly Falling Apart And What They Need Most to Come Back to Themselves

Why So Many Men Are Silently Struggling
A huge part of this conversation lands with a kind of quiet punch: so many boys and men are carrying a level of emotional exhaustion that no one sees. Jason Wilson explains that what looks like apathy, anger, or distance is often just a lifetime of being told to be strong, be stoic, be useful — but never human. From childhood onward, boys learn that expressing real fear or sadness makes them weak, so those emotions get buried. Over time, that internal weight turns into the very behaviors people misinterpret: the short fuse, the blank stare, the “I’m fine.” And while men keep performing their roles, their sense of worth shrinks because they’ve been taught it lives in what they produce, not in who they are.

The Hidden Cost of Emotional Suppression
Jason lays out something most men never say aloud: when they say they’re “tired,” they don’t mean they need sleep — they mean they need rest. Not the physical kind, but the soul-level release that comes from no longer carrying it all alone. He shares how men learn to survive by suppressing everything that feels vulnerable, but that suppression doesn’t go away; it leaks out as anger, numbness, or emotional absence. And when the world praises a man only for his utility — how hard he works, how much he provides, how much he can endure — he stops believing he’s valued simply for being himself. That’s where hopelessness begins. It’s also why so many men struggle to open up: they don’t think anyone wants the truth. They think people only want the strong version of them, not the hurting one.

What Men Actually Need But Rarely Ask For
For all the complexity around male behavior, Jason boils the need down to something simple: men want to be understood. They want to express something deeper than anger without being dismissed or shamed. They want someone to ask how they’re really doing and actually wait for the answer. And they want permission — maybe for the first time — to feel. When a man senses that he won’t be judged for showing fear, sadness, or tenderness, something profound happens: the anger softens. The silence breaks. The armor cracks just enough for connection to get in. Jason shows this in his work with boys at the Cave of Adullam, where martial arts becomes a doorway to emotional honesty. The boys don’t just learn discipline; they learn to breathe, name what’s going on underneath the surface, and release the pain they’ve been carrying for years.

How Loved Ones Can Create the Space Men Need
This part of the conversation feels especially important: the people who love men often want to help, but don’t know how to reach them. Jason offers a simple starting point — stop asking, “How was your day?” and start asking, “How are you… really?” Look them in the eyes. Slow down. Don’t rush to fix their emotions or reframe their reality. Men are conditioned to feel like burdens, so the moment a woman says, “It’s not that bad,” or tries to cheerlead them out of their feelings, they shut down again. Jason suggests creating presence instead of pressure: sit in the room with them without pushing them to talk. Touch their shoulder. Hold their hands. Let your presence say what words can’t. Because when a man finally risks sharing something vulnerable, the most painful thing you can do is dismiss it. The most healing thing you can do is honor it.

The Path Forward for Men Who Want to Change
Jason doesn’t sugarcoat the truth: becoming emotionally whole takes courage. It requires a man to revisit the places he’s been avoiding — old trauma, unmet needs, father wounds, moments where he felt small or unwanted. But he argues that this is the real warrior work. Facing yourself is harder than fighting the world. And the reward is freedom — the ability to show up as a comprehensive man rather than a one-dimensional one. A man who can be strong and soft. Protective and vulnerable. Driven and rested. Self-controlled instead of explosive. And most importantly, a man who knows his worth isn’t defined by productivity, but by his humanity. That shift changes marriages, fatherhood, friendships, and the entire emotional climate around him.

Conclusion
What makes this conversation powerful is how ordinary and universal it is. Jason Wilson isn’t describing a rare crisis — he’s naming a truth most men live with daily but rarely articulate. And he’s offering a language for women who want to support them, not criticize them. At its core, this episode is about connection — the same thing the Thinking of You app tries to facilitate in its own way. It’s a reminder that when men feel safe, they open. When they feel understood, they soften. When they’re allowed to be human, they heal. And when they heal, every relationship around them gets stronger.

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