The “Bad Man” You're Afraid to Be Is the Man She Actually Wants with Mikah Jones, Relationship Coach
Many men spend their lives trying to be “good men,” but what if that effort is actually leading them to become the worst version of themselves? In this candid conversation, Alessandro Frosali sits down with wellness coach Mikah Jones to unpack a pattern quietly sabotaging modern men: the fear of being perceived as a “bad man.” Not the archetypal bad father figure—but any version of yourself that might disappoint the women in your life.
The Fear That Traps Men
This fear keeps men trapped in patterns of people-pleasing. They say yes when they mean no, walk on eggshells, and lose their backbone one compromise at a time. Mikah highlights how most men measure their worth through their partner’s emotions instead of their own truth, creating a cycle of internal conflict and external frustration.
The Erosion of Femininity
The conversation explores how modern societal pressures have affected men and women alike. Frosali notes that women’s empowerment has sometimes led men to overcorrect, becoming all heart with no spine. This dynamic erodes the natural interplay between masculine and feminine energy, leaving relationships unbalanced and men disconnected from their own power.
Losing the Spine in Love
Mikah explains that men often lose their backbone not because they are inherently weak, but because they are tethered to their partner’s emotional state. Men anchor themselves into their partner’s ever-shifting feelings rather than into their own truth. Without this internal grounding, they struggle to make decisions, set boundaries, or feel secure in their relationships.
The Courage to Be Disliked
The discussion turns to the importance of embracing discomfort and saying “no” when necessary. Men often fear that following their truth will make them temporarily unlikable, but Mikah frames this as essential courage. Defensiveness, he notes, is a symptom of being unrooted. The act of holding your truth, even if it causes friction, is the foundation of respect and authentic intimacy.
What’s Actually Yours to Carry and What Isn’t
Frosali and Mikah explore the difference between the responsibilities men create for themselves and those they inherit or adopt unconsciously. Many men take on burdens—whether to protect or please—that are not theirs to carry, leading to resentment and exhaustion. Learning to distinguish between what is genuinely yours and what is borrowed is key to reclaiming agency.
Why Men Are Afraid of Their Truth
The conversation examines why so many men fear the consequences of living authentically. Alessandro explains that men often internalize a distorted image of what it means to be “bad,” equating it with being undesirable or harmful. In reality, the “bad man” is simply someone unafraid to act in alignment with his values.
Building Heart and Spine Together
Throughout the episode, Frosali and Jones discuss three stages of masculine development: the overbearing, all-spine man; the overly empathetic, all-heart man; and the integrated man, who combines heart with spine. Men are encouraged to build a presence rooted in their own truth, where love and strength coexist. The body becomes the ultimate compass for navigating life and relationships, signaling when to say yes, no, or “let’s see.”
No Is the Most Powerful Word
One of the episode’s core lessons is that saying “no” is not a rejection—it is the foundation of authentic yeses. When a man defines his boundaries clearly, he creates space for meaningful dialogue and genuine connection with his partner. The friction that arises from saying no becomes a tool for alignment, not conflict.
Truth Over People-Pleasing
The conversation emphasizes that the greatest gift a man can give anyone is his truth. When men stop measuring themselves by external approval and instead anchor into their own values and desires, relationships become more honest, intimate, and sustainable.
Conclusion
The episode concludes with a call to embrace both courage and self-awareness. Most men are not bad—they are simply terrified of being seen as bad. This fear, left unchecked, erodes intimacy and stunts relational growth. By reclaiming their spine, connecting to their body as a guide, and learning to say no with love and clarity, men can step into the kind of presence women actually desire: grounded, authentic, and unafraid. In the same spirit, Thinking of You encourages partners to cultivate this same honest, embodied connection—inviting them to communicate truthfully, share intentions, and reconnect with meaning. Its simple daily prompts help couples return to authenticity, reminding them that real love requires both heart and backbone.
#thinkingofyou, #thinkingofyouapp, #relationshipapp, #couplesapp, #masculinity, #boundaries, #selfgrowth, #intimacy, #menandrelationships, #modernlove
.png)